Holy communion

Every culture on earth has some or the other mystical tradition concerning the ‘heavens’, ‘God’, ‘angels’ and ‘demons’. For thousands of years people have reported visions of the spiritual realms and the beings they have encountered on these out of body experiences. Astral traveling, spiritual flight, moving through vortex like tunnels of geometric patterns, the lucky few even speak of directly communing with ‘God’ whomever that God may be. Accessing the other worlds are done for various reasons, healing mostly, or guidance with ones life path, basically seeking answers for direction. Releasing blocked feelings and emotions or traumatic memories and experiences are frequently reported by those souls journeying in search of answers.

For some the experience mirrors hell, and for others heaven, sometimes both experiences can happen in the same journey. Others report overwhelming feelings of connectedness to all life and the sensation of unity or oneness with God and the universe. Generally the search is for meaning, what is my purpose, why are we here, does God exist, do we die when we die, or are we reborn and are ultimately immortal beings, can we remember our past lives, or for that matter our future lives, can we learn how to navigate our souls after death, and do we even have souls, or is it all just chemical interactions in the brain, that will cease when we cease? These questions and many more are frequent concerns for those more spirituality inclined in their life orientation.

Now the problem arises when we search for answers, where do we start. The obvious answer is with our own culture, whatever that may be. But then what happens when our own culture does not provide the answers we are looking for? For instance if Christianity or for that matter scientific rationalism, the two main options in western culture don’t satisfy my curiosity, what then? Well, then the New Age movement steps in to fill the void. One could also consider our globalized culture and the fact that the divisions between people and their beliefs are much less solid and demarcated. We live in a time of great change where every answer is supposedly just one click away, or for that matter, one workshop of this, or workshop of that away.

Spiritual grifters

Gurus, teachers, healers, medicine men and woman, sages, shamans, life coaches, motivational speakers, the list is a long one of all the options out there. All tools that supposedly help one be a better you, the you, you were meant to be, the real you. It’s a mess to say the least and it is understandable that people could get lost during their search for consciousness and understanding. The truth, which is a hard truth to face, is that many of these supposed experts and special people are themselves in a mess, and only by pretending really hard can they pull of their grift. They may have a bit more knowledge or power, and in their presence, a less educated or spiritually ‘advanced’ person may feel that they are somehow less, smaller, not as ‘woke’ for lack of a better word.

Unfortunately, and I have seen this with my own eyes, those in power tend to take advantage of those in subordinate positions, it is no different than Wall Street. The well cultivated illusion is that it is, but that’s bullshit, it can get as worldly as any other power based enterprise, sex, drugs, money, power, fame. The televangelists are the best example from organized religion, they just milk and milk until there is nothing left and then they just move on to milk somewhere else. The challenging part is to recognize the bullshit, to see through the illusion, as it is the last place one wants to enter unprotected, the spiritual realms.

For the untrained student, which let’s admit, almost all people are, navigating the trials and tribulations of the spiritual path is an extraordinarily difficult task. Many don’t ever come back and get lost in some cult or the other, some crazy, whacky, insane belief system, the more outrageous the more it seems to attract people. Individuals surrender themselves to the mercy of those that supposedly know better, are wiser, and more together. But be careful whom you surrender your free will to, you might struggle to get it back. Consider the Q phenomena in America as the perfect example of this kind of spiritual madness. So for our journey forward let us bring together a very old idea, and a very new idea based on the very old idea of the Merkabah.

The question of evil

The Merkabah meditation is a very recent movement that has developed over the last 25 years or so and can be traced back to the Book of Ezekiel found in the Old Testament. Basically in a nutshell, Ezekiel describes some kind of chariot or organic machine that helps him access the throne of God and grants him the freedom to travel throughout the different realms or heavens. Remember Muhammad visited the seventh heaven, meaning their are still six other heavens to explore, or are there? That is the question, whose heaven is the real heaven? And most important of all, does heaven even exist? Almost every culture has some belief regarding death and what happens to the soul when we die. The ancient Egyptians created elaborate beliefs, coupled with rituals and ceremonies to explain what happens after death. For most, death is the ultimate preoccupation of life. The living continuously wonders what happens to the dead, as they themselves will one day be part of the dead. One thing is absolute, and that is death, death is the final frontier. But not for people like Jesus and Osiris and the numerous other Gods and mortals that have overcome death. Where did God take Enoch when he decided to miraculously make him part of his posse. Where is Jesus, is he sitting at the right hand of God?

The Catholic Church have it all worked out to the finest detail, heaven, purgatory, hell. They even have ways one can move through the realms depending on the actions of those on earth, whom in turn appeal to those in other parts of the cosmogony. Traditional African religion believe in the ancestors and various rituals are done to placate them, ask their guidance or even protection. Now the thing is, for all of this to work you need polarity, opposites, enemies really. Good, bad, God, Devil, angel, demon. Only when these forces are pitted against one another can the battle between light and dark commence, an imaginary battle I might add. Someone did this, and someone did that, and they did it because they are evil and in cahoots with the devil and his demons. Evil spirits abound in traditional religions.

Shamanism can’t function without fighting some unseen entity or being. I am not saying these things do not exist, I am merely giving examples of how complicated it gets. The question is, how much of this is going on in the individuals own mind. Because ultimately it all boils down to psychology. Everyone wants to feel integrated and whole, that’s a given, but some of us just don’t , and in fact feel fragmented and damaged. Life experience, trauma, abuse, addiction, the list goes on and on. People hurt other people more often than not, not entities, or evil spirits. Yes of course we look for reasons, trying to explain why some people do despicable things. The problem with evil. Why does evil lurk amongst us. Does it mean if evil lurks, the devil and his demons also lurk? Is this a given, connecting the two, or is this an easy way out of the difficult discussion surrounding the many things we do not know. Explaining stuff away because of some demonic force is easy and convenient, it ties everything up with a neat little bow. Explaining why a person suddenly dies, without no visible cause, for instance a mosquito bite, helps integrate the experience. But at what cost? Say I decide to search for a reason, and then I come upon this great idea that it was a poison arrow that was shot from the neighboring shaman, at the behest of a jealous rival, well, then its all gonna implode now ain’t it.

Consider Eve’s journey. Where does evil come from? Mmm, lets think about it for a moment. Ok, got it. Lucifer the brightest angel in heaven wanted to shine brighter than God himself and therefore a rebellion broke out and Lucifer and his fallen angels were banished to earth. The only problem was that God had created the first people, so Lucifer now had some creatures to tempt. It just so happens that the wily snake, a disguise of Satan found the perfect opportunity to tempt humans, when God in all his wisdom decided to create woman. Up to this point the man, Adam, was steadfast and a straight A student, but Eve was different, she was a woman. So Satan started his charm campaign and it didn’t take him very long to convince Eve, to sin against the Lord. And that, my friends, is how evil came into the world, Eve’s disobedience. But wait, there is a way out of the mess, a loophole, the crucifixion of Gods only Son for the sins of a fallen mankind. You see, contrary to what anyone might have said, Jesus was meant to die on the cross, because if he didn’t, then humans would forever be damned and never be able to become one with God again. Straightforward, isn’t it?

Dreamtime

What was humanities first experience of altered states of consciousness? I think it was the Dreamtime. Anything and everything is possible in our dreams. We can fly, swim under water, have experiences related to the world but not of the world. Then there is the psychological aspect to it all, do our dreams communicate with us, and when we say our dreams, is that something outside of our own consciousness? It is the same as asking who do people speak to when they have visions, or receive prophetic messages. Angels, spirit guides, ancestors, ascended masters, even God himself. The Bible is filled with prophets and those openly saying they speak on behalf of God. So can anyone speak to God, or just some people, who determines the hiercahy of holiness. Does the Pope speak to God?

Or what about the zillions of modern day prophets interpreting the Word of God on behalf of their congregations, often through their dreams. Can people really be touched by the Holy Spirit and speak in tongues, or receive healing hands, hands that can cure others. Can prayer cure someone? Thoughts and feelings, projected ideas, can these really benefit a person. In the same breath, can they harm someone. Thought forms and projections, ideas planted, social conditioning. Say we all pray for Johnny and he survives, but say we all pray for Jimmy and he doesn’t, did our prayer work for Johnny but not for Jimmy, or was it God that had the final say. Maybe Johnny was a better Christian than Jimmy? Or maybe we weren’t good enough and God decided to ignore our pleas.

And what about clairvoyance and all the other Claire’s? Can certain people see the future, can they speak to the dead, and can they read your mind, what are spiritual gifs? Have some been blessed, or cursed for that matter, that can see things hidden behind a veil from ordinary people. Can these gifts be developed and fine tuned, think of the Sadhus in India. They believe that certain ascetic practices will bring them powerful gifs, for instance levitation, becoming resistant to cold and pain, manifesting objects out of thin air. The spiritualists during the 19th century excelled at this plasma manifestation stuff. Then there are those whom believe these are merely distractions on the spiritual path, same as the alchemists trying to make real gold. Power is power is power, no matter the realm of existence.

We know humans have experienced altered states for tens of thousands of years, maybe even much longer. Rock Art found across the world speak of the incredibly rich and diverse spiritual beings and creatures shamans have encountered in the Dreamtime. Are they real, hallucinations, or caused by overly creative imaginations?

Altered states

What about people in New York City smoking DMT and experiencing very similar things others have spoken of for thousands of years, how do we tell what is real and what is not. Merely dismissing someone’s experience is not really good enough, or saying it is from the devil, or some other lame excuse. The spiritual realms might not be able to be studied like the earth, and gravity and so forth, but the individual can be brave enough to have a subjective experience if they so chose to. Everyone can smoke DMT if they wanted to find out what everyone else is experiencing, it might not be the same, but it will give the person a really good example of what is being experienced. Some people can reach altered states through meditation, dreaming, fasting, praying or mantra, visualization, drumming, dancing, even sex can help people experience altered states. Now what is an altered state? And how powerful does it have to be to be classified as altered.

DMT is extremely altered, but isn’t dreaming also. Other states are more subtle, for instance deep meditation, or rhythmic breathing, although at the same time, certain individuals can have massive experiences, where others will have almost none. It very much depends on the individual. Some people are sensitive and for example only need a small amount of mushrooms, whereas someone else needs an entire bag, and yet, the one that took only a little bit will still have a more powerful experience than the other that took a lot. This is one of the main differences between plants and chemicals. If you do a line of coke, chances are you will experience almost exactly the same feeling as the other person doing a line. But when it comes to the more powerful shamanic psychedelics like Ayahuasca, Peyote, Eboga, DMT, and Magic Mushrooms, the experience is not a given. It is not a switch you can put on and off like the chemicals, the psychedelics work on a much deeper psychological and spiritual level. They can transform you, whereas a line will also transform you if you take enough, it will make you an addict, maybe destroy you and everything you love.

And then there is the small question about navigation. Do the experiences happen to you, are you just a passive passenger, like most experience during dreaming, or is it possible to navigate the space, to learn to consciously journey down the rabbit hole? And if so, then is it possible to learn to navigate the altered space time continuum in preparation for our deaths? The best preparation is of course to empty the vehicle from as many traumatic experiences and sense of self, as in ego self as possible, separate from everything else, separate from God. Does the individual even exist? Does it even matter if it does or doesn’t? Does anything for that matter, matter, or is it all just without purpose, without meaning? It all depends on how we interpret meaning. Is meaning Jesus dying on the cross for our sins, is meaning believing God will answer our individual wants and needs, or will protect us because we are ‘good’, as opposed to others who are ‘bad’?

Tree of life

One of the most elaborate creations of the spiritual realms comes from the Bible, or rather from Jewish Mysticism and the Kabbalah. The Merkabah and Kabbalah are intertwined, the Merkabah is used to travel on the Kabalistic interpretation of the Tree of Life. For those unfamiliar with the Tree, Ten Sephiroth (energy vortexes) are arranged in the shape of a tree like structure, starting with one and God at the top, and ending with humans at ten. It’s an imagined evolution of the world and all things in it. To complicate matters even further, the Kabbalist believe four worlds or different realms within this structure exists. Now in the modern age the Kabbalah and the 22 paths that join the ten sephiroth have been linked to the 22 Trumps of the Tarot cards and the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet. The smaller cards have been arranged from 1 to 10, with the four elements representing the Minor Arcana times four, king, queen, prince, and princess. Generally making for a total of 78 cards. 22 Trumps, 16 Minor Arcana, and the 40 small cards from 1 to 10 x 4 for each element .

In a sense the Tree of Life is a map, and the archetypes the cards represent, are the beings or energies that will be encountered along the way. The journey is from the lowest realms, the earth, towards the most spiritual realms and God. Now because this system was designed before the discovery of the planets Uranus, Neptune and Pluto, it doesn’t account for these. The 22 trumps consists of the four elements, earth, air, water and fire, the 12 signs of the zodiac, and the seven planets, Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn. Now as you can see, 4 + 12 + 7 = 23 not 22. In order to compensate for balance, Saturn and the element of earth is taken as one, thereby reverting back to 22. So in actual fact four cards are missing, Earth, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto, even If Pluto is demoted, it still is three rather big extra unaccounted for archetypes. It seems as if the 26 letters of the English alphabet would be a better fit, or that the Tree of Life needs to be revamped. The map does not account for all the important extra bits, no Orion, Sirius, Pleiades, Great Bear, Draco, Arcturus, Rainbow, ect.

Dna deactivation

And what about the Merkabah and the Flower of Life. The Flower of Life pattern that supposedly contains all this magical geometric symbolism, is short of two very important numbers, 8 and 9. To make matters even more tricky, the modern interpretation of the Merkaba, based on the Flower of Life, is a Star Tetrahedron, the supposed vehicle of vehicles, the most advanced geometry that can activate DNA and lead to ‘ascension’, what ever that means. But again, the Flower of Life is based on geometry only up until the number seven, it is awesome looking, but incomplete nonetheless. The pattern can be found in many cultures across the world, but so can the square with the nine smaller squares, from Peru to Gabon, this geometry has also been part of cultural heritage, we even found it in the church of the Nativity. So just because a geometry can be found, does not really make it proof of some long lost secret, but rather just an example.

Now the thing about the Star Tetrahedron is that the tetrahedron is the most basic of the five Platonic solids, the least evolved and complex geometry. It is the only solid that does not have a dual, it only works with itself. Again, it is a lovely pattern or shape, but not a natural one, it has to be created. The hexagon and hexagram do not lead to the Star Tetrahedron, and neither does the cube. The Star Tetrahedron has been superimposed onto the geometry of the hexagram, Star of David, Seal of Solomon. Let’s look at it like this, the Star Tetrahedron is maybe great for traveling on the incomplete Tree of Life, but it is not great for much else. What we want is an up to date map and a modern vehicle to make traveling not only easier, but also more comfortable and most of all, safer. You don’t really want to get lost because of an old map or broken down vehicle. Where we are planning to travel requires much greater flexibility and discernment, because we are planning to travel everywhere, and nowhere in particular. The only limit is the creative imagination.

Soul sleep

It’s all conceptual really, yes some of it is experiential, but mostly it is just ideas. Who decided that we only have seven chakras, was it convenient because of the number 7, or is it a fact? And then who said the colors of the chakras are what they are, again was it convenient to link them to rainbow, or do we really have a sky blue energy vortex in our throats, or a green vortex in our heart center. Super suggestion is a great concept, particularly when we are altered. Basically having seeds of thoughts planted in our heads, cultural conditioning for a lack of a better idea. The world is made of symbols and very often these symbols are arbitrary, they are chosen by association not necessarily because they actually exist. Certain symbols do have a basis in reality, which makes them universal and enduring. We want to learn to discern between what is made up, and what is natural. We tell ourselves make believe stories everyday, basically our entire cultural point of view, depending of course on the culture, is an illusion, a legend, a myth.

Very seldom do these stories truly reflect reality, but rather how we want reality to reflect. The legends we tell ourselves gives our lives meaning and direction, even though they are mostly just fables, its remarkable. So basically we can tell ourselves any story we want to, the only restriction is our capacity to dream, our imagination. Obviously we don’t want our stories to just mimic those stories that came before, but we at least want to add some originality, some creativity into the mix. Christianity is a great example, in particular Protestantism. They teach something called soul sleep, basically that is what I was taught growing up. In a nutshell. When we die, our soul goes into a deep sleep and we don’t experience anything, its blank, a sleep without any dreams. Now this is not an indefinite state of being, but rather just temporary, only until Jesus returns to earth and defeats the Devil in the Apocalypse at the end of time.

Once Jesus does his thing, all souls will be judged by God and their fates permanently sealed. The lucky ones will go to heaven and hang out with the angels, the unlucky ones, well, they will burn in hell for all eternity. Now before this happens, humans sleep when they die, that’s it, a deep and overwhelming sleep. Now this is obviously counter to everything eastern cultures teach about reincarnation and so forth. Many lives compared to only one single life, immortality of the soul, or immortality of the soul only once God decides the fate of the individual. Now the truth is, I wasn’t fully convinced about the whole soul sleep scenario. What if it wasn’t true?

The great work

What if the soul does indeed live on after death, what then? How will a person cope with the magnitude of existence without being fully prepared for what comes next, or doesn’t come next. Putting ones faith in Jesus seems like an almighty big risk, particularly if Jesus desired for people to be independent, empowered, and responsible for themselves and the fate of their souls. It’s called the Great Work. Every individual is responsible for finding their path in a path less world. Jesus can’t save us, we have to save ourselves, that’s the whole point of the Great Work. Know thyself to be like God. We are the microcosm of the macrocosm. We contain everything within ourselves, and the more we surrender our power to others to tell us who we are, the longer we will remain adrift on the sea of unconsciousness. No one said the spiritual path was easy, in fact it is very, very hard.

What makes a person good? Do they hav to be religious or spiritual to be good people. Are humanists good people? Do we need a heaven and a hell to make us behave, do we need a God and a Devil to keep us in line? Why cant we just die when we die and become part of everything once again. Maybe we don’t have souls, and maybe they don’t sleep when we die, to be awoken at some later stage. Maybe there is no reincarnation and we really just have this one life, not one of many. Who gets to decide who is wrong and who is right?

Who gets to decide that the laws found in the Bible are the only way humans can lead a good life. What does not worshiping a particular God, or being busy on his supposed day of rest have to do with being a good person. Yes things like killing, raping, robbing and so forth are universal evils, but what has saying a Gods name got to do with anything, nothing, that’s what. It’s arbitrary and generally created to keep one group as dominant and separate from other groups.

Ultimately we all seek some form of peace and contentment. Reaching the end of our journey on earth feeling empty, lost, alone, confused, and fearful, must really suck. Almost like our own personal hell, because at the end of the day, we alone will have to face ourselves when the curtain comes down. We have to live and die with ourselves. Death is the one experience we can’t share with anyone, it is ours, and ours alone to face. Do we want to get to the end, which just so by the way can come at any time, anywhere, and feel fragmented in our psyche, or do we want to feel integrated, whole, connected to life, even in death?

Multi dimensional traveler

What is required is a multi cultural, and multi dimensional vehicle/chariot that will allow us to travel the path of consciousness without being restricted to only one map, or one belief system. The complex nature of the diverse world we live in, is that we have to find our way. Not everything is clear cut and well defined and a lot of the time we need to explore certain paths only to realize that we rather shouldn’t, that’s how we learn. Pain is our greatest teacher. But over time we learn and evolve and therefore we adapt how we approach certain things, especially those that impact our minds/consciousness. To enter certain worlds we need to be protected, not only in the physical, but sometimes even more so in the non physical, the unseen realms.

This is true of most westerners as they don’t really have much of a cultural tradition to fall back on for support, which makes them particularly vulnerable. A lot of the stuff is new, and most people have very little experience with spiritual techniques and practices. Yet there exists a great thirst for knowledge and meaning and that is why so many different groups, workshops, courses and practices can be found. And the crazy thing is, they all say something slightly different, how else are they going to differentiate themselves from the crowd, how else are they going to stand out. Consider the amount of Christian denominations one finds, thousands, all with a niche to fill, all with followers, even the most outrageous ones. So how do we find the truth amongst all of the disinformation, opinions and options out there? How do we integrate all the many different interpretations into a cohesive whole, into a map that actually leads somewhere, not only in circles. Most maps are designed to go nowhere, because if people actually evolved, they would out grow the system and drop the need for the map, they would learn how to cerate their own maps, and even to map uncharted territories. Consciousness is as vast as the observable universe.

We have only scratched the surface of who we are as a specie, and are only just emerging from the dark ages. The church has stalled human development and stopped people from walking their path because of some or the other ridiculous law or belief system. What we need is to go beyond the laws, beyond the boundaries of our condition, but we need to do so in a responsible manner, and the best way to do that is by having our own field under control. How can you go anywhere if you can’t drive your vehicle, if you don’t have a license. The spiritual realms and the physical are not so different, in fact they are one, and very similar rules apply. People are less aware of the other worlds because most of their focus is limited to this world only, and therefor they are generally ill prepared to enter altered dimensional states of consciousness, whether taking ecstasy in a night club with loads of people and loud music, or attending a plant ceremony with a shaman from the Amazon.

This applies to almost any activity that has to do with altering your consciousness. Going to church, doing a self help course, learning meditation with a multitude of different groups and teachers, participating in a sweat lodge, going to see a clairvoyant, experimenting with tarot cards or other divination tools, taking prescription drugs to deal with a psychological issue on the advice of some or the other doctor, going to a music festival with thousands of people, all on different substances, going to a football match with your mates, going to a strip club and having a few drinks. The truth is that almost everything we experience, from school to our parents, can have an impact on our consciousness and it’s development or stagnation. Same goes for the country we are born in. Ideologies and belief systems are ingrained from birth, we learn form our parents as they learned from their parents and so forth. But sometimes we need to break the cycle and learn for ourselves.

Spherical consciousness

In the world we live in today, which is not that different from other time periods, is that we must be able to have more than one perspective and influence on our lives. Being too narrow and boxed in, overly confident of our world view is not a very healthy way to live. But in order to integrate so many different ideas and theories, we need a filter, something to help us discern the truth from the lie. It really comes down to frequency, resonance. Being able to pick up the vibe of something, noticing the subtle variations in vibration. All is not always as it appears, and very often people are adept at wearing masks, again the same apples to any entity or being one might encounter in the Dreamtime. But it does not only apply to people or entities, but even more so to Gods, angels, saints or any disincarnate being, including ancestors and the dead. It is incredibly important where we choose to give our energy, or to what.

And when I say energy, then I am talking about both the manifest and unseen. Some have called it Chi, life force, kundalini, auric field, basically it is the totality of ourselves which also includes the body and our emotions and minds, our psychological make up. But it goes further than just this aspect we are familiar with, it opens to other possibilities of a reality much bigger than merely what we can see with our eyes. It is generally only accessible through what is called the inner eye, or the third eye. You don’t need eyes to see, you need vision. Just because a person has never had an experience, say for instance skydiving, doesn’t mean that millions of other people have not jumped out of planes. Same applies to consciousness and its many levels of expansion, just because someone has never had an altered state, doesn’t mean other people don’t have them.

A good place to start is with the acknowledgment that the world is a mysterious place and that we don’t have all the answers. It doesn’t mean that we must just take anyone at their word regarding the answers they provide, as many of them are just making it up as they go, they also don’t know, they only pretend they do. So what we are going to do, is try and create a neutral playing field, somewhere where everyone is invited to participate in the exploration of consciousness, regardless of their belief system. Humanist and Buddhists, Christians and atheists, Muslims and Shamans, alchemists and psychonauts, artists and philosophers, scientists and mystics. What we want to do is cultivate something called spherical consciousness, which includes all and yet creates clear boundaries between what can enter our space, and what can’t. We are connected to everything, but we are also individuals on a journey of discovery, and therefore we need to clearly define our space.

Theory and practice

Life is experiential. I can tell you this and that, but until you experience it, it will always remain hearsay, talk, words, not actions. We have theory, and then we have practice, that is the only way we really learn. You can read loads of books about babies, but until you actually have one, only then will it sink in, nothing can prepare you except for the real thing. The same applies to the journey, the search for the Holy Grail, which ultimately is found inside of us, but first we have to look outside, that’s the nature of the path. So I can’t tell you what is real and what is not. Personally I have experienced a variety of things and have been in various situations related to ‘consciousness’ and the search for truth and meaning, some were good, and some very bad. It would have been wonderful if I was a bit better prepared before embarking on certain journeys, as I was pretty naive at the time, as mostly everyone is.

It didn’t really help that my own culture (Christianity), was in no way prepared for anything outside of the faith. I was taught to fear and avoid anything that did not come directly from the Bible, as in everything else was inspired by the Devil. Only the Word of God and the teachings associated to the religion were viewed as being positive or worthy of study. Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Taoism, Zen, Shamanism, Traditional Religion, all wrong. As were Humanists, Atheists, Secularists, Socialists, Communists, Scientists, basically the entire world was wrong if it did not prescribe to the Bible. Musicians, artists, actors, directors, anyone in the creative industries were wrong if they included ideas from foreign cultures into their art. Because they say, all of it was somehow inspired by Satan. Even other Christian denominations were inspired by Satan, just in case all of the above were not enough restrictions.

That is how I was raised, and that is why I chose to travel the world as soon as I turned 18 after completing school. Now the thing is, I may sound like an extreme example, but that’s were you are mistaken, I am but one of billions. Not only Christians, but every other religion or philosophical belief system do the same. It happens in Saudi Arabia, India, Indonesia, America, Israel, Turkey, Germany, Brazil, Russia, China, Poland, Mexico, South Africa, the list is almost never ending. Obviously the stricter religions like Islam, Hinduism, Judaism and Christianity are the most difficult cultures to be raised in, because they are the largest and most fundamental. Almost a billion Hindus, more than a billion Muslims, two billion Christians, more than a billion Communist Chinese. That’s way more than half the worlds population that is raised in severely conditioned and fundamentalist societies. A society that does not encourage you to think for yourself but rather to just believe and have faith. But what if its all crap? Not the sacredness or reverence, but the way it is forced down children’s throats. I have no problem with other people’s beliefs, but I do want them to keep it to themselves, and I certainly don’t want to be governed according to the laws of religion, as the moral and ethical arbiters of life.

So the point of this explanation is the fact that I had no formalized training or cultural tradition to fall back onto when I decided to explore the many different ideas and philosophies regarding God, consciousness, spirituality, immortality, and enlightenment. And just because something has been packaged as being holy, doesn’t make it holy. Needless to say I have journeyed far and wide and therefore feel I have gained some sense of the nonsense out there. I am still working things out in my own mind as it is a never ending expansion, and as I may have learned some things on the one hand, there are many more things I do not know or understand on the other. My first task has been to get to grips with the Bible and unlock its many secrets, in order to free myself from my own conditioning.

Discovering the universal nature of the secrets have been the other major breakthrough to make, no one culture is really anymore tuned in than any other. They all contain very useful bits of information and knowledge, that when put together, creates a new perspective on those things that have become stale and outdated. We live on the cusp of an entirely new world age, that which was will no longer be, and we have to adapt our thinking to mirror this new way, we are the new way, and we will blaze a trail for others to follow if they so chose to. Every generation lays the ground work for future generations, unfortunately our generation has been let down by our ancestors as they got lost somewhere along the way. This has been beneficial as it has forced us to find our own way, and in the process have become empowered and self sufficient.

Sinner

I can’t really explain what drove my restless search for meaning when entering my teens. Honestly, I was dissatisfied with my life and needed there to be more than what I was taught. I felt trapped in a matrix not of my choosing, and seriously wanted to escape my condition. Many in my position would have been content with what they had, a promising career, both as a psychologist and a sportsmen. But I wanted more, success and fame was never gonna cut it. Money, accolades and awards, all of this seemed meaningless and empty, and most of all, my religion felt empty. I had zero connection to the God I was supposed to love, in fact i would go as far as to say I despised him as a teenager. Yes Him, I was taught that God was an old man with a long white beard that ruled from heaven with the help of His Son, that he just so happened to allow being crucified, all for my sins. But not to sound arrogant, I didn’t feel like a sinner, what did my two or ten or fifteen year old do to be branded a sinner in need of redemption? The line between sinner and saint was so fine that it always confused me what could be classified as sin. Many of the conditions that made one a sinner just made no sense what so ever. And so my long and sustained questioning of everything I had been told to believe started in earnest, none more so than with the laws regarding sexuality. As a teenager this was paramount, which is obviously natural.

My first great sin was to have sex as a sixteen year old. This was a massive decision for me to make, and was the start of the undoing of the matrix that imprisoned me. Of course being careful when having sex, both for unwanted pregnancy and std’s is essential, and of course to learn where one chooses to share ones very intimate self, but other than that, when consensual, what is the issue? One of societies major problems is exactly this weird and distorted relationship with sex, which directly stems from the church and the Bible. And all of this negativity has been projected onto Mary Magdalene, unfairly. Now a lot of other cultures have a much different attitude towards sex, for example the Kama Sutra in India, Tantric sexual Yoga, Taoist sexual alchemy. all these teachings elevate the sexual experience to one of the highest and most spiritually profound a human can have. Sexuality has not been shunned, but rather embraced as a vehicle or tool for transformation.

It was not only used for pro creation, or restricted to a man and his wife, sexuality was elevated to an art form, not only for pleasure but also for spiritual ecstasy and bliss. It was used to help the alchemical marriage that occurred inside the individual, by repeating that sacred union on the outside, with another. Again, just because someone has not experienced communing with the Divine during sex, does not mean it can’t be done. For Taoists, sex is a medicine, it is used for healing and the general well being of the practitioner. Sexuality is directly linked to Chi or the life force and Taoists generally use their sexual energy wisely and with intent. They can transform the tremendous power of the libido and channel the energy back into their own bodies to strengthen their personal Chi and potency.

Now unfortunately in the modern world, various teachers and gurus of these ancient sexual practices abound, and together with the entheogens, makes for the two most complicated paths to navigate, sometimes they are even intertwined. Exploiting another persons naivity or openness, taking advantage of the position held by the healer, these are all pitfalls encountered along the way, because ultimately, sexuality is one of the most powerful tools to use on the journey. The plant medicines work the same.

Zig zag zen

Shamans, or medicine men and women, hold an enormous responsibility when working with, or administering these mind altering and life changing substances. People are incredibly vulnerable during their experiences and even after wards. They are also super suggestible as their entire field is wide open, and the unscrupulous shaman could take advantage of this. Over the years, I have attended and explored a variety of different plant based religions from across the world, including participating in many indigenous shamanic related experiences. For instance the sacred Bushmen Trance dance, partaking in African religious ceremonies, working with sweat lodges and the medicines together, fasting, vision quests, sound journeys, flotation tanks, holotropic breath work, drum circles, and a long list of other events. I also worked with others in regards to assisting them in taking the very powerful west African psychedelic, Eboga, mainly for drug and sex related addictions and abuse, deep psychological wounds and PTSD. Needless to say I have seen a lot and been exposed to an enormous range of experiences. Instead of becoming a psychologist, I instead chose to walk the medicine plant path.

I even decided to further my research into chemical dependence, by taking these chemicals in order to understand what my clients were struggling with. I have always been drawn to the plants as the drugs are mostly artificial and not really life changing in the same way the plant medicines are. Some of the modern drugs are beneficial and can be used constructively under the right conditions, but generally they are dangerous as fuck, and should be handled with care. But at the same time, so should the very powerful psychedelics be, not everyone is cut out to experience some of the mind bending experiences produced by the plants and their related chemical compounds. When I say mind bending, I mean it more in terms of the psychological impact the plants can have on the psyche. They are profound healers and teachers, but demand a price that few are willing to pay, the ego. The more we cling the harder it is, and not everyone can walk that kind of tightrope with their own minds.

Some people require the gradual way towards awakening and not the lightning bolt strike. I m not the gradual type, my curiosity is way to overwhelming and find myself compelled to push myself to the very limit of what I thought possible. A kind of extreme sports version of consciousness, other people jump off mountains and surf huge waves, I push my boundaries by participating in very potent shamanic rituals for the purpose of exploring my own consciousness. As I said this has gotten me into trouble more than once, finding myself in the wrong scenario with unscrupulous people, people interested in power more than in consciousness. For many plant eaters, the journeys become a badge of honor, even though they very seldom advance on the path. Taking the plants to often is not healthy and can create a false sense of superiority, as with any spiritual group or movement. Spiritual arrogance is one of the most difficult vices to recognize in one self, the ego parading as some enlightened healer/teacher type.

Grounding

After one to many bad experiences, my path moved away from the medicines, both man made and natural, and I have instead focused my energies on integrating everything I’ve learned. That’s the other thing, when we keep on going and never stop to reflect on the journey, we tend to get blindsided by life. My path led me to the work I’m currently busy with, decoding the secrets found in the Bible and western civilization. I honestly believe my training with the plants helped me to view things from an alternate perspective, because only by looking at the world differently, did I manage to breakthrough the veil of illusion. From Cave to Cathedral. I have always been more interested in the old ways, and Christianity has not been something I am naturally drawn to, for obvious reasons.

But somehow life brought me full circle, back to my roots, and ironically, it was here that I found what I have been looking for all this time. After traveling to over 40 countries on five continents in search of answers and experience, it was in the city where I live in South Africa, that everything came together. I was born and raised in Johannesburg, and only moved to Cape Town in my early thirties, 15 years ago. And it was in Cape Town, my adopted home, that I made the breakthrough regarding the mysteries and secrets. Keep in mind that I have done lots of things, but I have not been initiated into any secret society like the Freemasons, or any related mystery schools. Meaning, I did not have access to their knowledge and understanding of the Bible and King Solomon’s Temple. But somehow I understood their secrets, and somehow I had gained a deep love for numbers and geometry, something I did not have at school. In fact I failed maths in my last year as I found it to be terribly boring and an useless subject. That was until I discovered the Golden Ratio, funnily enough from a person I was treating for a meth addiction.

I initiated him into Eboga, and he initiated me into crystal meth amphetamine. I had taken some chemicals before this, but never really, as I preferred LSD to ecstasy, and never saw the point of cocaine. Also I am not a drinker as I prefer weed, that’s my vibe, so meth is absolutely not weed, my God it is intense. My first time was a three day bender, the only previous time I had ever stayed up over three days doing a drug, was when I took Eboga with the forest people of Gabon. That was insanely intense, but this was equally intense from a whole different perspective. By doing the meth, I gained access to a whole underground world and subculture of radical drug consumption. Cape Town was flooded with all different drugs, and the outdoor trance scene in Cape Town is the largest and most organized in the world. People from all over come to party at these festivals, its a huge money spinner and brings together travelers and trippers from every corner of the globe. That’s why I found it so surprising that meth was being used by party goers. I used to take San Pedro at the few parties I ever attended before Cape Town, but the dark underbelly of the city was rife with all kinds of chemicals.

From DMT, to pure MDMA crystals, from liquid LSD, to varieties of Magic Mushrooms, Mescaline, and the newest and coolest designer drugs from Europe, and more marijuana strains than you could ever smoke, super super skunk. Intertwined with all of this was the meth, cocaine, ecstasy, heroin, crack, kat, and ketamine. People were polydrug users, and would take what ever was available as the party season ran for at least six months a year. The only problem is, the party doesn’t stop in between parties, everyday becomes a party. And that is how addiction starts. The thing with the chemicals, is they take more than they give. The plants don’t even remotely drain the body of important neuro transmitters the way the drugs do. That’s why people tend to end up with severe depression, they can’t produce their own feel good hormones anymore, the drugs have stopped them of this ability to produce the chemical reaction naturally. In order to feel good, they have to be high, and so the cycle starts.

Highs and lows

Up and down, high and low. My one client used to get very depressed and then he would smoke crack, get super high, and use heroin as a comedown, only to smoke crack again, and again. My other client, my first real session after returning from Gabon, was with a heroin user. Oh my God was that first session intense, he was tripping for three days, his high extending to become almost a week, when I finally decided to bury him with just his head sticking out of the sand in order to ground him. He was experiencing the war in the Czech Republic, only problem was that he wasn’t alive at the time of that war. At one stage I had to wrestle with him, as he became super paranoid and manic. Whew, what a journey. Anyway, years later I met him again and he had unfortunately relapsed due to his pain not finding healing.

Because ultimately that’s all it is, not being able to sit with the pain. Nobody teaches us how to manage and learn from our pain. It is either ignored, or people are told to get over it and move on, never fully integrating the experience, which ends up coming back later to haunt the person, often resulting in some kind of abusive behavior, whether self harm, sex and drug addiction, or some other destructive manifestation. Anyway, I wanted to understand why he went back to heroin, so we made the same deal as with the meth dude, we initiated each other. I used to learn the plants only from masters, I only travelled to the place of origin to work with experts. Same goes for the chemicals, who better to initiate me than a junky, a master of their craft. If meth is up, heroin is down, way, way down. On the one hand it is amazing for chilling and glimpsing the bliss the Buddha speaks about, but on the other, it is so entropic, that your soul will sooner or later, get sucked down a deep dark black as night hole to never emerge. It is as intense as meth in the opposite way.

My experiment lasted for about six weeks and then, the second part of the experiment was stopping. Just to be clear I never injected, as that’s a step too far, I stuck with snorting and smoking it. Stopping was not that complicated, maybe because it is such a downer of a drug and I could see where it wold lead. Stopping meth on the other hand was psychologically much more tricky and took more effort on my part. It’s a powerful substance and only the Eboga helped me not to lose my footing, as it would help to break the meth matrix that develops in a persons energy field, thereby fueling the addictive quality of the drug. The one thing I still did while experimenting was continuing to work with the plants, they are the only reason I could keep my shit together. It was a two way street really, the chemicals moved the one way, and the plants the other, until the difference between them became less and less. The chemicals can be used in a respectful manner, that is ultimately what I learned and taught people. When traveling in Gabon on my way deep into the forest to eat the medicines with the tribes, I stopped over in Lambarene, a town made famous by the German doctor Albert Zweitzer. He wrote the following.

What is reverence for life, and how does it develop in us? The most immediate fact of man’s consciousness is the assertion, ‘I am life that wills to live in the midst of life that wills to live’, and it is as will to live in the midst of will to live that man conceives himself at every moment that he spends meditating on himself and the world around him. At the same time the man who has become a thinking being feels a compulsion to give to every will to live the same reverence for life that he gives to his own. He experiences that other life in his own. He accepts as good, preserving life, promoting life, developing all life that is capable of development to its highest possible value. He considers as evil; destroying life, injuring life, repressing life that is capable of development. This is the absolute, fundamental principle of ethics, and it is a fundamental postulate of thought.

A man is ethical only when life as such is sacred to him – the life of plants and animals as well as that of his fellow men – and when he devotes himself to helping all life that is in need of help. Only the universal ethic of growing responsibility for all that lives – only that ethic can be founded solidly in thought. The ethic of reverence for life, therefore, comprehends within itself everything that can be described as love, devotion and compassion in suffering, the sharing of joy and common endeavors. Albert Sweitzer, September 1915 Gabon.

Reverence for life

Treat meth with reverence, and meth won’t bite your head off and swallow you whole. But abuse meth, and oh my word, the price to pay is your soul. Same goes for Coke, Kat, heroin or any other drug, including the plant medicines. It is important to realize that the plants and chemicals are intelligences, they have awareness and sometimes even know you better than yourself. They are alive and it is possible to establish relationships with them. Complete abstinence does not work for some people as they will sooner or later be drawn back into the darkness. The substance needs to be overcome and its hold over a person broken. Therefor being able to still use drugs every now and then, moderately, or even sometimes binging could help dispel its power over one. Sometimes it is healthy to exercise the shadows, and in doing so, exorcise them. The drugs are powerful, but they are not that powerful, the plants in my opinion are much, much stronger.

Eboga/Iboga, the magical plant Ibogaine is extracted from, is renowned for being able to heal a person with a 25 year heroin habit in one session. Not all the time, but often. Somehow Ibogaine has the ability to reset the neurotransmitters in the brain and dismantle the old pathways and create new ones, ones not dependent on whichever fix it has been conditioned into consuming. Even Ayahuasca does not have this quality, it can help with the inter-hemespheric integration in the brain, but often numerous sessions lasting months are needed to completely break an addiction. Ibogaine can shatter the matrix of crack, cocaine, meth, heroin, tobacco, alcohol and many other substances. But it is not to be played with, take too much and it will kill you, its a fine line between life and death. The reason many people with addictions are drawn to the medicine is because they are already dying, killing themselves slowly everyday and destroying everything they love in the process.

My path led me to Eboga because I wanted to serve. I had a great deal of experience with San Pedro and Ayahuasca, and used to run groups once every three months to mirror the seasons. Being initiated into Eboga was the next step on my path, one very few people make, and once initiated I could put all my many years of experience together and assist those that were struggling with massive demons. The cool thing about Eboga, it has no fear of these substances, not in an arrogant way, but more as a matter of fact. Maybe because they work with the spiritual realms and consciousness, somehow the drugs just aren’t on the same level, ultimately they always come back to the more base aspects of reality, sex mostly. All the hardcore chemicals, from coke to kat, from ecstasy to meth, all sooner or later fixate on sex. Heroin is too much of a downer and people lose their sex drive, but the uppers, well they feed off sexual energy. The plants can also be abused in this way, but generally only by the worst of the worst shamans and healers, those that practice the dark arts. My very first plant teacher was one of them, and he taught me everything what not to be. Sometimes they are the best teachers by default, petty tyrants. San Pedro and methamphetamines, or rather mescaline and meth/ice have a very similar chemical structure and that’s why when working with San Pedro under the wrong conditions, it can have similar results as working with crystal meth.

If people lose their inhibitions while drunk, then just think what happens on meth, its relentless. And the more they journey down that path the darker and more depraved it gets. I am all for sexual freedom and what what, but yet it is such a complex dance. We store so much of our vital life force in our lower chakras, and just to hand it out will sooner or later leave one drained of energy. Porn will do the same if not treated with respect. It really has everything to do with attitude, intent. Everything is permissible within reason. If our actions hurt others then maybe we have gone to far. But it is important to distinguish what hurting someone means. Say my parents are very religious and I come out as gay, then that will probably hurt them. But is it really wrong what I am doing, or is it only wrong because of their conditioning and what they have been taught, which by the way hurt me as I am branded a sinner, someone God does not love. So I am not speaking of this kind of hurt, illusory hurt, no I am speaking of really hurting someone through your actions and unconscious behavior. Although this example of parents rejection their children on religious grounds is pretty awful and can be classified as such.

DMT has become a bit of a thing, and people are smoking too much of it in a non safe environment, the set and setting is all wrong, and it very often leaves them shattered and fragmented, not whole or any closer to becoming more conscious and aware. Can you imagine what happens to your field when smoking DMT at a trance party. It is the subtle energetic dynamics we are often not aware of that leave an impression on our being, whether good or bad. Even weed has become too strong. I am all for amazing strains, but the weed is now almost as strong as LSD and produced with no sunlight. Same applies to Ayahuasca and San Pedro or any other ritualistic ceremonial eating of the medicines. Just because you have taken a substance and have had these amazing visions, doesn’t make you enlightened. The proof is in the pudding. The long term behavioral changes and subtle tweaks to the personality and psyche, is where its really at.

Do we practice what we have learned, or do we just talk a lot, and try to impress people with our amazing experiences, that turn out to be rather hollow and short lived. The spiritual path is hard work and requires non stop dedication and commitment, there are no short cuts, even smoking DMT ultimately means nothing if the changes are not continuously cultivated and expanded upon. The path is full of ceilings that stop people from reaching any higher, and yet makes them believe they have arrived somewhere important. A good example is the club scene. Is that amazing person you met on Saturday that was so nice to you still gonna be nice on Tuesday without the ecstasy after the comedown? That is one of the main differences between the chemicals and the organics, the plants have a much softer comedown, a much gentler movement back into reality and the physical world. Although as I have learned, abusing the chemicals is no different to abusing the plant medicines. It has less to do with the substance, and more to do with the consciousness of the substance user. Whatever is going on inside will be mirrored outside and reflect the state of our psychology, without the mask.

Crazy wisdom

When I first set out on my journey 25 years ago as an 18 year old, I had no plan other than to search for ‘God’, as my own culture appeared void of anything resembling the sacred. A long story short, is that I discovered that God was Love, the exact same teaching as my own cultural beliefs, but from a very different perspective. Love is one of if not the most misunderstood of all concepts. For some love is Jesus dying on the cross for their sins, and for others love is loving one another, no ifs or buts. Not if you convert, if you accept Jesus as your savior, if you are not a homosexual, if you don’t have sex before marriage, if you don’t belong to this or that group, if, if , if. So on condition, the opposite of unconditional love.

It is not an expansive love that includes all aspects and people. It is a love driven by fear, not by love, which doesn’t make it love. Compassion, kindness, wisdom and understanding, depth of character, all the qualities Jesus came to teach humanity got lost somewhere in between Peter and Paul. Love got twisted to suit a false narrative and missed the point completely. Too much focus on the wrong aspects of the faith has led to a complete breakdown of the essence of the Word. The Buddhists refer to it as the Rainbow Body, the luminous diamond like radiance that exists at the core of each individual, the aspect most are not aware even exists. This is what Jesus wanted others to get in touch with, the God within, the God of love that is also described as light. Dazzling light.

These are the two main aspects of God as expressed in the New Testament. Love and Light. Now a third aspect of God I discovered had to do with the second part, light. This was not just a spiritual concept but rather a very physical and tangible scientific explanation for God, a natural philosophy based on observations of the real world. The Science of God, the geometry of light and form, the mathematics of consciousness. The other aspect, Love, could be viewed as the Art of God, and when taken together create a framework and foundation for the Great Work, the transmutation of base metal into the gold.

In the second book of the Revelations, Godd Ratio, the very last chapter Sphere, will be looking at what would be the most advanced and beneficial vehicle to use in the modern age for the exploration of multidimensional states of consciousness, taking into account everything we have learned and discovered thus far on the journey (In reference to the Godd Ratio).